Being in college is a great accomplishment for most of us. It is a ticket to freedom. The moment to do all the crazy stuff and have lots of fun. Relationships and dating mark major milestones of campus life. It feels sweet and extraordinary to be in love, receive and be the center of attention. Unfortunately, this part of campus life may be devastating and a cause of downfall for many. You don’t have to worry when trying to find your date or perfect your love life. Here are some of the basic mistakes to avoid when considering dating.
- Dating because everyone is doing it
Peer influence is at its peak at this stage. Everyone seems to have a partner to go out with during campus functions, events, and forums. It is common to see friends with benefits making out. Mostly, this affects the ladies who constantly have to keep up with their fashionable friends to look attractive. Date because you are ready to commit to it not to please peers.
- Not every good-looking person is a potential date
Looks maybe charming but deceitful too. Stop the mentality of judging at face value. That handsome man with class and eloquence is not a potential husband or boyfriend. Neither is that beautiful girl with perfect curves the ideal partner. Dig deeper into people’s personality prior to dating. Know one’s character and their way of life. Once on campus, I got hooked up with a Christian Union student leader. At face value, he was my dream man. Shock on me when I found out he was cheating on me with my two classmates.
- Catchy guy, Yes! But don’t force him/her to love you
This is something we fall trap to commonly than any other thing. We find someone, we become interested in him/her, like and love the person. Then, we become attached to the individual. Without telling the other person your feelings, you expect the person to love you back. However, this never works out well. You become a nuisance in someone’s life. The guy never wants anything to do with you. To him/her you are a friend. So, don’t feel the gaps without knowing their meaning.
- Expecting to change someone.
It is often to overlook some flaws if you a person. We hope to change the person to fit in our shoes. Very wrong! It never happens. My friend Tanny had a guy whom they constantly hang out with. Whenever I asked Tanny if they were dating, the answer was always a No. Though Tanny had feelings, she wanted the friend to stop smoking before committing to something serious. It never happened. Tanny was left heartbroken.
- Dating is a time waster
My friend, in life we need to walk with others. Dating is part of a stage in life that we undergo. It defines our adulthood and potential life partners. Hence, a critical time to evaluate who to commit to. We are not robots to jail ourselves to books. The person who shows interest in you may be the “guy” destined for you. Don’t give excuses to spend time because of academics. Plan your time and spare some to interact with people. While on campus, my boyfriend lost his father. On the same week, we had an assignment due. To jungle the two and support my boyfriend, I let custom essay writing service handle my homework. I attended the funeral and the writing website delivered a high-quality cheap essay for me. Sometimes it takes some sacrifice while dating.
- The Ex-comparison syndrome
Everyone has a past so keep yours to yourself. Go into dating fresh and expecting nothing close to your ex. The high expectations of the other person to match up or even have exemplary qualities ruin relationships.
It isn’t wrong to love oneself and demand respect from others. This is not the case, wanting everything while dating to be only about you, is being selfish. You only think of how to be treated well and pampered with gifts but you never reciprocate the same to the other person. You are just killing that dating process. Dating is a two-way process. Do not expect to always receive without giving. My neighbor Nancy was dating Tom. I would hear her tell Tom how she wanted to be treated, taken out on picnics and shopping. The relationship was mainly about her. It was not long before they broke up. No-one is a puppet or machine, so have equal grounds to play on.
- Afraid of Breakups
Breakups are a normalcy in every relationship. Dating gives you a chance to know someone better. Dating for over years doesn’t mean you are meant to be. Breakups come, new people come into our lives and go. There are better ones yet to come your way. Don’t lock up yourself in sorrow and pain over an ex. Be open-minded. My brother had a girlfriend and they dated for seven years. Yes, seven years but they never got married. The relationship ended. My brother is now happily married to another person and they have two children.
In conclusion, college can be a stressful moment balancing between academics and social life. With the tips above, you can avoid the common mistakes of college dating. Who said dating only happens in college? You can also focus on building yourself for the future spouse.
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