A Completely Objective Review of An Apolitical Game

Apolitical Game is a game without any kind of politics. None whatsoever. Do you dislike politics in your games? Good. Because Apolitical Game has none. If you asked Apolitical Game what its politics were, it would say “None”. Partly because it’s a game, but mostly because it’s apolitical.

As a white cis dude, I found it comforting and reassuring to see another white cis dude on the cover. This observation, like everything else about Apolitical Game, is completely apolitical. How can it be political? I’m the one who wrote it. And I did it without any political motivation whatsoever. Don’t bring your subjective opinions into my completely objective reality. I am the protagonist of life.

Video Games are Games

At first, I was going to give Apolitical Game 10/10, my lowest score ever since I changed my rating system so that it no longer included 7/10, my previous lowest score ever. Then I realized the developer gave me the option to pay for it. It was a small amount of money, about $2, which doesn’t seem that bad until you realize that it’s actually a very, very small amount of money.

Small amount of money, I thought?

Hold on a second…

Small = Micro

Money = Transaction

MICROTRANSACTION!!! MICROTRANSACTION!!! MICROTRANSACTION!!! MICROTRANSACTION!!! MICROSTRANSACTION!!! MICROTRANSACTION!!! MICROTRANSACTION!!! MICTROTRANSACTION!!! MICROTRANSACTION!!!

Please consider supporting my fearless plight against these insidious games industry practices on my Patreon page. Also, there’s an image of a subscribe button below. It gets stuck sometimes so you might need to smash your forehead against it repeatedly to get it to work. It’s the ONLY WAY to SHOW those GAMES INDUSTRY FATCATS that we’re SICK OF THEIR SHIT also check out these cool new Amiibos I just bought.

Anyway you can play Apolitical Game here thanks bye x

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Nic Reuben

Nic Reuben likes to pause games every five minutes to ponder the thematic implications of explosive barrel placement. When he’s not having an existential crisis over CAPTCHA verifications that ask him to prove he’s not a robot, he’s reading sci-fi and fantasy short stories, watching cartoons, and mourning the writing standards in Game of Thrones.

Latest posts by Nic Reuben (see all)

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